so this is a brand new yr... and indeed, my "hell" life ended last yr... last yr was my worst yr of my life... yes, i had fun times too.. but the stress frm studies is seriousy no joke. well.... i knw im stil running frm reality even when the days came but thk god, i had my lovely family and friends who believe in me and i did managed to pass through those tough periods though im nt confident with my results at all.. but life still goes on. have to pick up and move on to the next chapter of my life. but i think im still nt facing the reality, running frm being myself hoping each day will just pause there and ya.... hais.... hoping smeday smetime i can get this straight and open up my heart and soul again... ((: and while im in my lalala mode, a portion deep in my heart, i dont feel carefree nor happy at all... dk why too... prehaps havent found the old me... oh well.... there are smetimes when i really need to talk to smeone, lean onto smeone for support... but there aint anyone that could truly understand me nor realise that i needed those.... hmm..... so i endured through my way... is tiring.... there were also times when i feel nth at all... i dont have an ambition, a dream nor motivations.... is scary, when i cant find anything.... seems like meaningless.... i used to love dancing and i thought prehaps im quite passionate in it..... and i realised im not. the old me was. but sadly, the present me is nt. i want to dance, but after stopped dancing for so long, i doubt my ability to dance again... and i sme what seems to have accpeted myself giving up in dance and im fine with me not dancing... i dont practice any skills nor stretch my body anymre. oh no~~~~ is gone ._____. smetimes i wished time could rewind, smehow i feel myself being more of myself and happier when im younger....thats the confident me. oh well..... i just have to accept the fact that past is past and i have to cherish what im having now so i wont look back to the future anymre.... Go Adeline! >D