yay... its 2014! a brand new year!!! bye to 2013~~~ ok.... so frm NOW is really a fresh start... hah. as the new year approach, I guess is time to recall what have I been doing for last yr... is only when i look back then i would realise what i had missed out and what should be corrected. well... generally 2013 is better than 2012, I guess is mainly because there's no more daunting exams like the big alevels. eewww.... *shiver* though I have to admit that I spent most of the time rotting and wasting my life away but it is a good break for me... to calm down and regain back confidence/courage. Is good to have that plenty of time thinking about LIFE. life.... I didn't knw before that I could be so carefree... despite the carefreeness, im still worried that this happiness would not last long and I would be hit back with reality again. though there were some achievements unlocked, I always believe is because of lady luck by my side and im grateful for that. really grateful. when sch started, I was still panicking of how a uni life would looks like... everyone is there to study, all mature, all drive to graduate. I have to admit is abit intimidating to enter a uni life for me... because I literally knows no one there in my course... and theres no one I could turn to if I need any help. but thankfully, I met some good friends and my uni life is getting better with stronger friendship forged. times could be hard in uni, when the deadlines for assignment/projects are nearing, tests/exams... all these are the stresses I faced for the past sem, I knw theres no way out of these and I knw I chose this path, so all I could do is to give my best. the sch is really competitive.... but I just tried my best to survive, with the support frm family/friends and myself. finally... a sem, which seems mre like a month, had past... my hardwork had been paid off and I survived through. sometimes I seriously wonder how could I have been through and overcome all these odds. and I believe is none other than miracles. luck. been always waiting for my miracles and im afraid at times what if my miracles have all been used up? so.... I managed to build some self confidence in myself. I realised, everything depends on one's mindset/attitudes/believes. if one believes he can and preserve on, he really can. I hope I don't rely on my lucks anymore. but ability. one never knows what he is capable of unless he gave the best shot, right? luck doesn't exist in fact. and I knw why the door within me wouldn't open. is because the door is waiting to be opened from the outside, by the correct person. it cannt open by itself. I wouldn't want to open the door again. I will wait patiently for the right person... (is always when u thought is the right one and then proves that is not..hmm...)but still... I would be a strong gal and smile brightly despite of whatever setbacks and challenges. my new year wishes: 1) all my loved ones to stay healthy and happy 2) smooth and successful journey in my life 3) more meaningful friendships forged 4)hopefully a right person to open the door 5)create more happy memories 6) be myself 7)be strong 8)be happy 9)forgive and forgot 10)live.love.laugh random thoughts: im human too.. I have emotions. though I don't show doesn't means I don't feel anything. im hurt. frozen door.